


Ready or Not

by Whreflections



Series: Oklahoma verse [8]
Category: Kane (Band), Leverage RPF
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2012-09-24
Packaged: 2017-11-14 23:52:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whreflections/pseuds/Whreflections
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In just four more months, they're going to have a child. Sometimes, things like that take awhile to really hit you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ready or Not

**Author's Note:**

> 85\. She

“You have any idea how cute it is that you’re  _this_  nervous?”   
  
“ ‘m gonna hit you in a minute; I hope you know that.”   
  
Jenny stretched back on the table, rolling her eyes. “No you’re not. I’ve got immunity for like… _forever_  after this.”   
  
“Keep dreaming, honey, you practically  _forced_  us to say yes, and considering you’re the only woman on the planet I  _will_ hit, I’m keepin’ those privileges.” Yeah, right. He hadn’t hit Jenny since he was 5, but he still kept threatening. It was just one of those brother requirements.   
  
“Whatever.” She craned her neck back to look over at him, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “I still think it’s cute.”   
  
“Yeah, well, I think you’re a pain in the ass, but I don’t talk about it.” He caught her hand to push it away, squeezing it gently before he let go. Even with all her teasing added into the equation, she still  _had_  to be the best sister in the world. The minute they’d told her they were planning on havin’ a baby, she’d spoken up and said she’d carry it for them. They’d both told her no right away, she didn’t have to, they’d find someone else, but she kept at it, sayin’ that she was family, and this’d just be better all around. She’d finally worn them down, and after searching through lists of egg donors (which was nearly impossible, and had almost made Chris want to draw a paper out of the stack at random and just go for it), and a pretty brief discussion about which of them was going to be the biological father(It hadn’t been  _too_  hard for Chris to win that one. All he’d needed was to get Steve all limp and happy in his arms and whisper in his ear ‘I want ‘em to look like you.’ That had done the trick.), she’d gotten pregnant in March.   
  
That was five months ago, and they were waitin’ now for the ultrasound that was gonna tell them if they had a boy or a girl. And yeah, maybe Jenny was right, he might’ve been excited. A little. But I mean really, wasn’t he entitled? As far as important moments went, this was pretty damn high up there. Not that it mattered really, they were obviously gonna be happy with whatever but all the same…  
  
 _Finally_ , the door opened. It was Alice, the same woman that had done a couple of other ultrasounds for them, and even though Jenny was talking easily with her while she got ready Chris was hardly paying attention. It felt like his heart was trying to beat out of his chest. The monitor was a little over on the right, and wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist, holding on tight and watching over his shoulder.   
  
Steve grabbed his hand, his grip hard. “Ready?”   
  
“Hell yes.”   
  
Alice laughed, shaking her head as he spread the gel and prepared flipped the monitor on, preparing to bring the image up on the screen. “I’m tellin’ you, the fathers are  _always_  the worst. Every time.” She winked at Jenny, her eyes cutting over to Chris and Steve before she looked back at the screen. “They baby may not give me a good angle today, but hopefully…”  
  
Yeah. Hopefully. The image came up on the screen, then, and he smiled, entranced. Already, it looked like such a little person. The other glimpses they’d had had been great, sure, and hearing the heartbeat had been wonderful but now…now the baby really had a face and little fingers and-  
  
“Congratulations, boys. You’re gonna be the proud parents of a little girl.”   
  
Just like that, Chris could see her in his head, a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes and…holy shit.   
  
Jenny grinned back over her shoulder at them, eyes sparkling. “I  _knew_  it. Oh this is gonna be hilarious.”   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
It wasn’t really until that night that it sunk in. They’d  _talked_  about it, sure, because they’d already done the name thing so they were ready with a choice either way, and Chris’ heart had damn near melted when the nurse had said they needed to start thinkin’ of names and Steve had spoken up to say she already had one, that her name was Jessie. The nurse had said it was a beautiful name, and all Chris had been able to think was, yeah, she is.   
  
But even with all of that, it wasn’t until they were lyin’ in bed that night that it  _really_  sunk in. Steve was lying against his chest, and he knew they were both still awake thinkin’, and the weight of all it really started to dawn on him.   
  
“Holy shit. We’re…we’re gonna have a daughter.”   
  
He felt Steve smile against his skin, and he turned his head to kiss his shoulder. “Yeah. Yeah, we are.”   
  
“No, I mean…a  _girl_ , Steve, we’re gonna have to…” Well, plan, for one thing. Because he felt like he knew enough about raising boys from his own father, but raising a  _girl_? That was new. Girls needed dolls and lots of clothes and… “We need to buy a good shotgun.” Because he at least knew  _that_  much for certain. He was more than ready to be the crazy dad cleaning his gun on the front porch when she went on a date sometime around the time she turned 30.   
  
Steve laughed, burying his face against his neck. “You know, I heard once that becoming the father of a daughter was punishment for everything you did as a boy.”   
  
Chris would believe it. If there was ever poetic justice, this had to be some of it. Though he probably could’ve appreciated it more if he hadn’t been able to remember quite so clearly  _exactly_  how he’d acted as a boy.   
  
“We won’t have to bother with the shotgun though, you’re not thinkin’ sneaky enough…we’ll just throw some Leverage on TV and casually mention how you do all your own stunts. That should do the trick.” Chris laughed, and Steve ran his fingers through his hair, brought his head up to kiss him. “But we don’t have to worry about that just yet. We should paint her room, though. And we need clothes. And toys.”   
  
Yeah, they’d need that. And blankets, and a bed and…they hadn’t really bought anything yet, and the more he thought about it now, the more they seemed ridiculously underprepared. “No pink.” Or at least, not too much of it.   
  
“Alright. I was thinkin’ maybe yellow...I dunno. We can go to the store tomorrow and look.” They’d moved into a bigger apartment here in Nashville so she could have a nicer room. They had a room for her in L.A. too of course but it was small, and they were thinking at least for the first few months they’d be stayin’ here and gettin’ settled. Filming for season 4 of Leverage was gonna start in March, and sometime before then they were gonna have to consider what they were gonna do about a place to stay in Portland, because for the most part before they’d just lived out of hotel rooms and Chris’ trailer and that wasn’t exactly conducive to life with a baby.   
  
But, first things first. They could get paint tomorrow and go from there. Chris closed his eyes, seeing all over again little girl that looked just like her daddy. “I wanna get her a guitar.” Even if she couldn’t play it yet, it’d be there for when she could.   
  
“Yeah.” Steve shifted against him, one hand curving around his hip. “It’s just…it feels a hell of a lot more real now, doesn’t it?”   
  
Yeah, that had pretty much been what he’d been thinking all day. And honestly, he was scared to death. Sure, he’d wanted kids ever since he’d stopped being one himself. One of the side effects of growing up in a southern family. Family was important to you, and it instilled you with this deep desire to want one of your own. He’d known for a long,  _long_  time now that Steve was the one he wanted that with, and even if he’d been willing to admit it to himself he hadn’t been willing to be the one to bring it up. If Steve hadn’t really wanted kids, he’d have been happy with they  _did_  have, because honestly it was more than enough. Steve had brought it up though, and it had sounded so perfect he’d jumped at the chance.   
  
Now that it was close, though, he couldn’t help wondering if it’d been such a great idea after all. He was so fuckin’ excited, sure, but at the same time, he was realizing he probably wasn’t the best ‘parent’ material. He fought and cussed and partied and drank too much. He smoked when his nerves were bad and he had a terrible temper and honestly, he’d never really all the way grown up. He’d gotten worlds better the past couple years workin’ at makin’ their relationship work, but just because he was finally fit to be with Steve didn’t mean he was fit to be a father.   
  
“Steve?”   
  
Steve’s thumb rubbed over his hip, slow and tender. “Mmhm?”   
  
“Are you…are you scared?”  _Please, God, say yes, because I’m fuckin’ terrified, man._  
  
Steve’s laugh was low and soft and he rolled off of Chris and onto his back. Chris immediately missed his warmth. “Of course I’m scared. I think that’s kind of the point. If you’re not a little terrified you’re gonna fuck the kid up, you’re probably gonna be a terrible parent.”   
  
“Yeah. I guess.”   
  
Steve turned to face him again, and Chris leaned into the hand Steve rested against his cheek. “What is it, Christian?”   
  
“Oh, nothin’. I mean, like you said I’m just...” Terrified. Yeah.   
  
Steve slid his hand down to rest against his chest, a warm, comforting weight. “Talk to me, ok? What are you thinkin’?”   
  
What  _wasn’t_  he thinking? I mean, every angle there was to look at it from, he was a terrible influence. “I’ve never played a show sober. Ever. The only time I ever even sort of clean my language up is for momma or your mom and even then I don’t quite manage. I punch people when I get pissed off and I don’t think I ever drive the speed limit and…” And he was gonna fail at this, miserably.   
  
Steve covered his lips with his fingers, keeping him from picking back up and going farther. “Chris…honestly, I think I’ve only ever played the one Kane show sober. And you don’t really talk any worse than I do. Look, maybe we could both stand to cut back on the Jack a little but even if we don’t, neither of us are  _drunks_. I mean, we’ve never really lost control of it, even when we were younger. We’re ok. And I know you and your temper, and no matter how pissed you’ve been, you’ve never hit me, even when I think I’ve deserved it. You’re not as dangerous as you think you are.”   
  
“Yeah, but-“  
  
“Chris, nobody’s perfect. But you, you’re…you’re gonna be great. I know you are. You’re perfect with Daniel, even you’ve got to be able to see that. So I’m scared, yeah, but about  _me_ , not about you. You’re gonna be a wonderful father, Christian. Trust me.”   
  
“I just…I don’t want to do this wrong.”   
  
Steve leaned in to kiss him, teeth tugging on his lip gently until Christian let him in. He hummed softly in pleasure at the slide of Steve’s tongue against his, and Steve smiled against his lips.   
  
“Like I said, that’s exactly why you won’t. You care, and I think that’s what’s important. We’re gonna be just fine.”   
  
Chris wanted to hope that he was right. 


End file.
